Operation "Pretzel Cheesecake"

Every time a starlet announces her pregnancy, I think, "Ah! Now's my chance!" While the miracle of procreation distorts and expands the body of a once lithe famous person, I start planning my big move towards my most prime physical self yet. After all, this gives me a head start if I'm using them as a model.

It never turns out the way I want. Nine months come and go and before I've even started "Couch to 5-k," Jessica Alba is bouncing around Hollywood-- looking so beautiful it's mildly offensive-- with a kid on her hip. I can just imagine her dashing by with a movie script in her hand, and a bikini under her clothes for an impromptu photo shoot at the beach to reveal her genetically-impossible flawless skin for her mom/baby photo shoot.

Whatever. Maybe I'm going about it the wrong way. Maybe I shouldn't be focused on improving myself but figuring out a way to sabotage the beautiful people instead. Is that wrong? Maybe. Probably. I'll think of it as sharing. So, when you read in the tabloids (you don't read those, do you?) about mysterious cheesecakes showing up on the stoops of supermodels around the world, it might be me. And my motives can be summed up in one word. Sabotage. Uh, I mean, "sharing."

Pretzel Cheesecake

Crust--

Ingredients:

18 squares (not rectangles) of plain graham crackers
6 pretzel rods
1/4 C of sugar
1 stick of melted butter

Directions:

Crush pretzels and graham crackers. Combine with sugar and mix in melted butter (thank you handy-dandy food processor).

Press mixture into the bottom of your spring-form pan.

Bake crust at 350° for 10 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool as you prepare the filling.

Filling--

Ingredients:

All at room temperature...

3 boxes (24 oz. total) of cream cheese
3 eggs
1 C of sugar
1 C of sour cream
2 tsp of vanilla

Directions:

Beat cream cheese and sour cream until smooth.  Gradually add sugar and continue to mix on medium to medium high, add vanilla, and then beat in a egg at a time.

Place hot water into a roasting pan and put on bottom rack of the preheated oven. Position a second rack on the center of the oven for your cheesecake.

Pour into crust and bake at 250° for one hour & 10 minutes. Turn off the oven, open the door all the way open, count to 30, close the oven door and leave the cheese cake to rest for another 50 minutes (not my original intention... I was going turn off the oven at the one hour mark and let it rest in the oven for one hour but I missed timer so I kinda goofed.  Oh well.)

Place cheesecake in the refrigerator for at least 6 hours before "sharing."

Final note. If I had a more extensive attention span, I would absolutely make caramel sauce for this (how awesome with the salty pretzels?!). Maybe for Vanessa Lachey's second child...

Real final note.  Do not remove the shell of the pan before the cake has cooled all the way.  If you do not  heed this warning, you will crack your cheesecake.  You have to give the cake time to cool which results in it shrinking and pulling away from the pan by itself without causing any harm to the cake.